Heaven's 2nd Civil War

death: dude, you've got to give your audience more background information

mage: okay - like what...

death: literally, no one reads this. give them the main narrative.

mage: okay. hold on...i'm kinda hungry.

death: at least change the generic photos that get pre-loaded as page-templates

mage: hey death...you're being kind of a lil bitch.

in the beginning, there was a Civil War where Lucifer and his friends sorta tripped out of Heaven and re-organized themselves elsewhere in the spirit world. they called their new territory "Hell." 

then Joshua of Nazareth taught everyone how to get to Heaven - love your neighbor as yourself - and everyone sorta...flipped out.