The Divine Cold War

In the beginning, there was a Civil War where Lucifer and his friends rebelled, failed, and fell from Heaven. The demons re-organized themselves elsewhere in the spirit world. They called their new territory "Hell." 

As part of the - quite fragile - truce between Heaven and the newly sovereign Hell,  Purgatory was established as a buffer and everyone agreed to leave Earthly matters alone. Note: none of the divine powers respected this clause. Still, things were more or less peaceful... then Jesus of Nazareth taught humans how to get to Heaven, and the truce literally went to Hell. 

The warmongers St Peter and METATRON have overthrown Jesus; no one can find the Archangel Michael (or his army); Lucifer is leaving Hell out of either protest or boredom, and he's named Joan of Arc heir apparent...yes, that Joan of Arc. She goes by Jean. 

Forces gather on both sides, as Heaven looks to block Jean's ascension and the rising matriarchy she represents. 

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Mage: how's that? 

Death: good, not great.

Mage: seriously?

Death: you don't mention me. 

Mage: "also the Angel of Death is here too - "

Death: well yeah, but ya know...make it part of the story.

Mage: "- and he helped start the war by swallowing a grenade."

Death: yeah, there ya go. more...more of that.